A Bottle of Alcohol and Fun
by Silverlight Elf
Summary: HP HG RW and DM go out for a drink their last year at Hogwarts.. they have a little to much alcohol and some fun accurs... Finished!
1. A drink or four

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I just like playing with the little characters in any sick evil twisted way I can!  
  
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It was a week before Hogwarts started and everyone was at the Pub. Draco seemed to have a bit too much to drink of beer and things, so did Harry and Ron. They were all around the bar drinking and drinking.  
  
It was all the 7th year students and this was their last year. Draco went up to Harry and almost fell in the two feet between them.  
  
"Ya know Harry, you're a good man." He wobbled.  
  
"Yeah Draco, I love ya man, your dead sexy." Harry gave out a loud laugh and Draco fell on him. Harry and Draco hugged for a minute or two before Ron and Hermione came up.  
  
"Yo, Harry...parry.darry.. larry. MY MAN!" he said slowly and seemed very drunk because he was talking out of one side of his mouth. Hermione was the only one that wasn't drinking. But if she did have a drink, just one, she would be drunk for the rest of the night.  
  
"I do not know why you people are drinking!" She yelled.  
  
"Awe. Come on Mione." Draco said now squeezing her in his arms. Then he lifted his hand and patted her breast. "Have some fun."  
  
She screamed and slapped him. She ran to the corner of the room and Ron, Harry and Draco laughed as she started to cry. They looked to her and waved. She cried even harder. She felt always left out and was sick of it, so she ran to the bar and ordered a drink with the most alcohol in it she could find.  
  
She gulped it down and started to become dizzy and forgetful. She quickly lost her senses and the boys cheered.  
  
"HEY PEOPLE." She yelled. They yelled back. She looked down at her skirt and long sleeve sweatshirt. "Why do I have all this crap on?" she said.  
  
She started to tare all her cloths off, down to her bra and half a skirt. Draco walked up smiling.  
  
"Hey babe" he said swaying back and forth. He took his right hand behind her back and pulled her towards him. She laughed and pushed against him. His drink was in his outstretched right hand. Harry and Ron cheered.  
  
"Draco! Yeah!" they yelled. They put their arms over each other's shoulders and watched Draco and Hermione intensely.  
  
"Kiss her, Kiss her, Kiss her!" the crowd cheered to Draco. He cocked an eyebrow and quickly moved his head to hers and kissed her hard. His tongue when swaying into her mouth and everyone cheered. She laughed into his mind with her tongue flicking his playfully.  
  
"Hey baby." Harry said to Ron, "You wanna top that." He swayed his head in the direction of Hermione and Draco still kissing.  
  
"All right!" Ron yelled leading Harry up to the table. "Watch this! Especially you two," he laughed as he pulled Harry's head to his and started to tongue him outrageously. He smiled and Harry did as well. They moved their heads like waves and made moaning noises like crazy.  
  
The crowd, Draco, and Hermione, roared with cheers clapping and jumped up out of their bar stools and seats at the table they were making out on.  
  
"Yeah right!" Draco Yelled and lifted Hermione to the table next to Harry and Ron and pulled her to him once more. She kissed him turned around the wiggled her way down his body and he gasped with enjoyment. She turned once more now kneeling down and worked her hand up his body climbing slowly.  
  
Music started and all jumped on tables starting to dance. Draco and Hermione continued to do the same moves and Harry and Ron reflected them.  
  
Draco jumped from the table and Hermione fell into his arms. They ran up the stairs of the tavern and all that could be herd or noticed of them was the bump in the upstairs overhead the bar.  
Ron and Harry followed them and went into their own room together. Everyone was partying all night. Cheers and screamed could be heard until the LATE into the evening.  
  
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In the morning everyone woke up with a headache. Some spread out over the tables and floors of the bar. Little were found in their own beds. Draco sandy, Ron and Harry, slept until at least 2:00 p.m.  
  
Hermione woke first. She turned in to her bed towards Draco. She slowly opened her eyes. A pale face and blonde messy hair was resting beside her. She gasped and Draco soon woke. They looked at each other eyes wide.  
  
"Dra - dra - Draco. No, no, no, no.. this. no." She tried to make sense of it but nothing came up.  
  
"Mud blood. what the.." Draco said. They jumped out of bed before they both noticed they were naked. The grabbed the sheets and fought over who was going to cover themselves until a scream was herd from the next room.  
  
Ron came running in, then he stopped to see Hermione and Draco standing at opposite ends of the bed. Harry ran in a few moments later, clothed in nothing but his Knickers. Ron had a pillow over his "parts."  
  
"What happened last night Ron?" Sandy yelled.  
  
Harry and Ron looked at each other and stepped away. She looked at them with question and Draco started to laugh.  
  
"You!!" he pointed at Ron, "and Him! Well I did granger but she is still a chick... that was low, even for you two." He laughed.  
  
Sandy did not think it was funny and pulled the covers from Draco leaving him naked and left the room. Draco jumped for a pillow on the side of the bed and covered himself.  
  
"Get out! Get out!" he yelled at Harry and Ron.  
  
They left, Harry and Ron into the same room, though they seemed to stay away from each other, and Hermione could be heard screaming in her room down the hall.  
  
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That was. well. lets say.. Interesting... I found it rather funny... In a sick way... but funny. Tell me what you think! 


	2. Olivers sugestions

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I just make fun of it  
  
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They went to school the next week without saying a word. Nothing was her from them for a while. Things were getting suspicious. Hermione watched Draco a lot and Draco watched Hermione.  
  
Nothing was heard from Draco pissing off the three. And the gang stayed away from each other. People left it alone for a while.  
  
Oliver wood had come to work at the school as a flying instructor, as madam Hooch retired. He noticed that the three weren't talking and Draco was being oddly nice. He called them all into his office.  
  
"All right what's going on?" he asked.  
  
"Well, you see." Draco stuttered. "We were at the pub and we drank a bit."  
  
"Ha yeah I remember, the senior drink! Yeah I woke up with 6 girls, man that was awesome. The only way I remembered it was this potion Snape gave me. I said I wanted to remember my childhood or some stupid excuse. That was awesome! I have never been so happy in my life and I missed it!" Oliver smiled looked at the ceiling.  
  
"Yeah well back to us!" Harry said.  
  
"Who is us?" Ron yelled back.  
  
"Not us you idiot!" Harry yelled  
  
Draco started to laugh and Hermione smiled. She moved towards Draco and held his hand while everyone was watching Ron and Harry fight. Draco turned a little red and turned to her. She was smiling and they all turned back to Oliver.  
  
"So you and Harry did it ay Ron?" he laughed.  
  
"How does everyone just guess? Do we look gay?" Ron shouted.  
  
"Yeah." Hermione said.  
  
"Hey you were supposed to be our friend!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Oh yeah sorry." She said.  
  
"And I'm guessing you and Hermione." He turned now to Draco. Draco and Hermione turned pinkish and smiled. They looked towards each other and looked down at their hands.  
  
"I didn't know you liked Hermione?" Harry said.  
  
"I knew you liked Weasel!" Draco snapped.  
  
"Well you know what, go ask Snape for a potion. I bet he'll give you one." Oliver said.  
  
Harry Ron and Hermione looked at each other with thoughts of confusion. "Snape? Give us help?" they thought. Draco just smiled and laughed.  
  
"Hey, I'm his favorite student! I'll get the potions." Draco smiled  
  
"Wait Draco, what if he asks what their for?" Hermione turned in.  
  
"Well say what Wood said." Harry said.  
  
"No I don't think he'll believe us." Hermione said.  
  
"Yeah your probably right." Said Ron.  
  
"Look, it's probably in a book, Hermione you can look it up." Oliver said.  
  
"Of course! Why didn't I think of that!" she cried.  
  
They were dismissed from woods office and went to the Library. It took them hours but they found the right potion. It was called the Flamousis potion.  
  
"Its called Flamousis. If it turns red after an hour of mixing it you have done it right!" she said holding a think book up to her nose.  
  
"Great." Ron sighed.  
  
They made the potion and an hour later it turned red. The sun had gone down and they picked up their glasses. The liquid was bubbling and they all looked disgusted at the red goop seeping over the glass rims.  
  
"Now, we have to say what we want to remember, and drink it." She said.  
  
"Fucking Hermione." Draco laughed and he drank it.  
  
"Draco Malfoy!" she yelled and she watched him drink. Harry and Ron drank as well. Hermione shrugged and gave it a gulp.  
  
Minutes later they recovered from the drink and they were laying on the floor. Draco was by Hermione and Harry was by Ron. They looked at one another, Draco and Hermione with love and affection and Ron and Harry with horror.  
  
"You did me like a dog!" Ron squealed. Hermione and Draco fell backwards with laughter. Draco was in tears. So was Harry, but for different reasons.  
  
"Do I look like a lollipop?" Harry yelled.  
  
"Lollypop?" Draco laughed.  
  
"He was licking me!" Harry yelled.  
  
Hermione felt a little sick, she had never thought of to boy doing what they were describing. Draco was laughing so heard that he wet the floor.  
  
"EWW!!! DRACO PEED!!" Hermione screamed.  
  
Draco couldn't stop he was laughing so hard. His face was turning red, Hermione was becoming worried. Then she got hit with a flash back. Draco had her ageist the wall banging her. She was screaming and moaning. She came out of her thoughts and screamed.  
  
"YOU PIG!" she yelled and slapped Draco. He turned serous and looked at her.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"You! A wall! Ewe!!" She screamed.  
  
"A wall? Oh... OHH.. WOW!!! SWEET!" he said laying down.  
  
"A wall?" Harry asked.  
  
"Yeah I banged granger against a wall!" he laughed. He pulled her down and started to kiss her. She tried to resist then she did not try anymore. Harry looked at them with longing. Then he looked at Ron. Ron looked back and jumped on him.  
  
"What are you doing?!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Banging you!" ran said as he ripped Harry\s pants off.  
  
" I THINK NOT!" he yelled.  
  
Hermione sat up immediately. She looked at them with confusion and amazement. This turned her on. She did not know why. She looked at them and smiled.  
  
"Can you do it? For me?" she asked softly.  
  
"Do What? Harry yelled.  
  
"Do it." She said.  
  
"DO WHAT? NO!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Ron of come on, you know you want me!" he said pulling Harry to the floor.  
  
"Yes I do..." Harry said and he started to kiss Ron.  
  
Hermione looked at them with amazment. She was in wonder with what they were doing. Then she had another flash back.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" she yelled.  
  
"Ew, what?" Draco said at Harry them turned to Hermione.  
  
"My dad is gay." She said.  
  
"Um.. why do you say that?" Draco smiled.  
  
"Because, I saw him with a guy before when I was little!" she cried.  
  
Harry and Ron stopped making out and sat up. Hermione and Draco were looking at them. They all got up from the floor and looked at each other.  
  
"We need to talk about this." Hermione said softly.  
  
"I'll say." Ron laughed.  
  
"I don't!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Remember banging you." He pointed to Hermione with a smile.  
  
"Hey! Can't you say it better!" she said.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Like say, we made love."  
  
"Against a wall?" Draco laughed.  
  
"Well, erm..." she said.  
  
"Well whatever we'll talk about it tomorrow." Harry said.  
  
"All right good night." Everyone said. They headed back to their dorms and laid in their beds. None of them slept, but they at least tried.  
  
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So? What do you think? REVIEW!!! Plus read Road Trip... Also by me! Its very funny, you'll love it! 


	3. Finish

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter, I just like to play with the characters!  
  
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Next morning Hermione and Draco met in the courtyard. They talked for a while of what they were going to do with their new relationship.  
  
"Draco, I really like you and everything, but I don't know if we can be together." Hermione said.  
  
"But I love you, and you're really hot." Draco screamed.  
  
Hermione raised an eyebrow and walked slowly away. Draco started walking towards her and then she turned and ran. He ran after her and they started to laugh and frolic among the students. Everyone looked at them really oddly.  
  
"I love you Hermione." Draco said once he caught her.  
  
"I love you too Draco." Hermione smiled.  
  
They walked towards Hermione's dorm and they saw Harry and Ron walk out holding hands. When they saw each other, each one quickly moved away from the one they loved.  
  
"Ahem"." Draco said.  
  
"Ahem yourself Malfoy!" Harry spat.  
  
"Dear, don't be mean. He cants be happy and gay like us. You should feel bad for him." Ron said. He kissed Harry's neck, and Harry began to giggle.  
  
"Um.. well... I should be going." Draco said.  
  
"Good bye." Hermione said moving in of him. He backed away from her slowly and she raised a brow. Harry and Ron looked at them intently, wondering what was going to happen.  
  
"Bye." He stuck out a hand for her to shake.  
  
"Bye." She took the hand. Then suddenly she smiled and put it under her shirt. Draco was pulled towards her and they fell to the ground.  
  
Everyone gathered near, they started screaming "Fight Fight Fight!!!" Draco and Hermione were making out on the floor but they thought it was Draco and hermione killing each other.  
  
Then someone approached and then everything went silent. He came closer., he had black hair down to his shoulders with gray streaks. His eyes were black and very cold. He stood over them towering above. He put his hands on his hips.  
  
"Get up!" Snape Ordered.  
  
Draco and Hermione stood instantly. Snape examined Hermione's flushed completion. Then he came to Draco who was Smiling still. He looked down and his eyes widened.  
  
"Oh God Damn Tight-ass Pants!" Draco screamed. He took his cloak and covered his, parts that were bulging out of his pants.  
  
"Got a little excited in the fight, did you Draco?" Harry and Ron laughed.  
  
"Shut up potter!" Draco spat.  
  
"Enough! Get to my office, the four of you!" Snape yelled.  
  
Everyone backed away and watched them leave for Snape's office in the dungeons. Harry and Ron had their hands hanging down, while Draco stood tall and Hermione starred at him.  
  
They came to Snape's office and everyone sat down in a couch that was opposite Snape's desk. It was deep green with silver lining. Harry and Ron sat next to each other and Hermione and Draco sat next to each other.  
  
"What happened?" Snape asked,  
  
"Well sir, me and Draco were, we had an argument." Hermione said.  
  
Draco's mouth dropped open. He did not like her answer. He looked at her angrily then he turned back to Snape and looked him right in the eyes. Draco stood and came right up close to Snape.  
  
"I was going to bang her." Draco whispered.  
  
Snape's eyes widened, as did everyone else's in the room. Everyone stared at Draco and Hermione almost started to cry. Draco sat back down, Snape's mouth was open.  
  
"And you Potter and Wesley." Snape stuttered as Draco sat down slowly next to Hermione smiling with his eyebrows raised.  
  
"We, us? No nothing." Ron muttered.  
  
"We are also a couple!" Harry yelled.  
  
"Remember there was something bout potter you said you couldn't put you finger on? That he was different from everyone else." Draco smiled to Snape. "Well Ron put his finger on it."  
  
Ron's eyes grew very wide then Hermione got up and left the room crying. Then Harry fainted. Snape stood from his chair.  
  
"Your gay boys?" he asked.  
  
"Ye, yes sir." Harry said, trying to wake Ron up.  
  
"Really? That's interesting, so am I." Snape smiled.  
  
"Um.. I'm leaving!" Draco said.  
  
"No Draco, I want you to here this. You know when you take a shower, well I watch that, you and all the other boys. Crabb was a very small Mickey for such a big boy." Snape said.  
  
"DUDE!!! SICK!" Draco yelled and he ran out of the room screaming.  
  
"You really do Professor Snape?" Harry asked.  
  
"Yes. Now you boys leave, or Harry rather carry Ron out with you, drag him if you have to." Snape said. He walked to the door and opened it. Harry took Ron by the legs and dragged him out.  
  
Draco and Harry met later. Draco's face was very pale, he didn't look like he had lips, and they were even pale. His eyes were almost all white and his hair was standing on end.  
  
"Pppp, potter. I am so scared." Draco said. "I feel so violated."  
  
"Yes, that's how I felt when Dudley used to grab my balls when I took baths and we walked in." Harry said, stroking Draco's leg. "But I think it now rather enjoyable."  
  
Draco jumped back, his hair all now fell out. He was completely bald. His lips completely faded and his eyes went even whiter.  
  
"I think, Snape might have done that to me!" Draco said. "I remember looking away from the shower or closing my eyes and having something pull me."  
  
"Was it fun?" Harry jumped up.  
  
"Um.. no." Draco said.  
  
"Oh." Harry looked disappointed.  
  
"Draco! There you are! I need to tell you something!" Hermione ran up. "I took a blood test, and I'm clean! I wanted you to take one."  
  
Draco nodded and Hermione made him follow her to the hospital wing. There Madam Kinkle, since madam Pomfrey retired, was there with a needle in hand. Draco sat on a bed and stuck out his arm.  
  
"All right, here you go." Kinkle said. She stuck the needle in his arm and took blood from it. Draco became weak and his head swam.  
  
"Oops to much!" Kinkle state as she pulled the shot out. "I will have some sort of notice later." She said.  
  
Draco and Hermione walked from the room and Hermione looked at him. Her eyes went wide as she saw his bald head.  
  
"What happened to your hair!" She said.  
  
"Um... Early loss?" he said.  
  
"Oh never mind!" she yelled. "I feel very weak." She fell to the floor. He looked at her white completion and tried to raise her.  
  
She woke up after a while. He looked at her and smiled. She smiled back and sat up. She shook he head and tried to stand but she was too weak. He picked her up and held her in his arms.  
  
"What happened?" she asked. "I feel very sick."  
  
Kinkle now approached. Her face was grave and very plastered. The smile she had on earlier had faded. She was looking at Draco meanly.  
  
"Draco, Hermione has a strange case of System breakdown. Anything that has been enforced into her, a virus or something of the sort, will kill her within days. Have found something interesting with your however." She said. "You had AIDS."  
  
"AIDS!!!" Hermione screamed. "And what would that do to me!" She screamed again.  
  
"It would kill you, but do not it worry, it is only transmitted from this particular person sexually, so as long as you don't have any sort of intercourse, it is safe to be together." She smiled. And she walked away.  
  
"Draco!" She screamed and he dropped her.  
  
"I I I I didn't know!" he yelled.  
  
"HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW!??!?! Does your father or mother have it???" Hermione said.  
  
"No." he said. "Snape probably does."  
  
"What's Snape got to do with anything?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Long story, he is gay and he looks at little boys and I think he had some sort of Fun with me while I was asleep or on drugs." Draco sighed.  
  
Hermione's face was flushed, her mouth was open wide. She tried not to use her energy but she couldn't help it. She knew she was now going to die and this was her last breath. The virus was cutting through her system faster than it does with normal people.  
  
"Draco! You, you, you Ass..." and that was it. She passed out and died.  
  
"HERMIONE!" Draco yelled.  
  
Harry and Ron came up, they hugged each other and stated to cry when they saw her. Draco kissed her cheek softly and stood up. He smiled at Harry and Ron.  
  
"One more song for the Radio Station." Harry sighed.  
  
"Pull myself together on the bathroom floor and pull myself up to fall once more!" Draco said.  
  
"She's gone to a better place." Ron said.  
  
"Yeah, Bye Hermione!" Harry waved.  
  
"Lets go." Draco said softly.  
  
They walked away and left her body in the courtyard. They all linked arms and walked to the dorms. Draco wanted to try something new, something that he had never tried before.  
The End!!!  
  
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Hope you thought my story was funny and other things!! Read Road trip! Though I think I need to end that one too.. but look for me on FictionPress.net!! Review Review Review!! 


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